“What would you consider your biggest weakness?” – While preparing for a job interview (yeah whatever I’m probably a sell-out) I came across this question that thankfully, even after the most recent interview, I have yet to be asked. This is a question automatically setting you up for failure. Job interviews are awkward enough as it is. You go in there, all dressed up (nothing like what you would look like on a daily basis if you actually got hired), you talk about yourself like you are the greatest thing ever without trying to come across pretentious or arrogant, and you have to worry about every movement you make down to having the right firmness of a handshake. Really? And after all of this, they want to know what you suck at? Why would anyone ever answer that honestly? And what if you really don’t suck at anything? (yes I am probably as awesome as I say I am in my interview. I’m no liar people) There is probably no good way of answering this question.

“I’m a perfectionist.” = douche

“I throw myself too much into my work and my family often complains that al I ever do is work.” = workhaholic douche

“I used to struggle with public speaking but I’ve thankfully overcome that fear.” = you didn’t really answer the question at all and that makes you a dumb douche

“I am a horrible speller, thank god for spellcheck.” = you should go back to school and learn how to spell and not be such a douche

Point proven. No good way to answer this question. If you know of one, keep it to yourself because if it is miraculously not douchey, everyone will steal it and then it will no longer be original and then it turns douchey, or it is just douchey to begin with.

I think everyone puts on a front in job interviews. The interview version of yourself is usually like the best version of yourself on just a tiny bit of cocaine. Energetic, ready for all of the challenges the job might throw your way, and a little wired from nerves and lack of sleep. This doesn’t help anyone. It certainly doesn’t help the employer learn who they would really be investing in if they added “you” to their team, and it probably doesn’t help you, the hopeful interviewee as you have to stress about morphing into this obnoxious, egotistical version of yourself. Dance monkey.

If I am ever in a position where I have to interview people, I am going to invite them all out at one time to a karaoke bar on a Friday or Saturday night. Whoever is the best bar companion and picks the best songs to sing gets my vote. This situation would probably tell you more about a person than an awkward interview. And if not, at least it would be entertaining to watch all the prospectives fight for my attention The Bachelorette style. At the very least, I would get a free show and a few free drinks out of the evening…probably.